Tragic mum's words of love

Nathan Crombie | 26th July 2010

Doctors have given Maria Kilmister until Christmas to live.
But today the 38-year-old Bideford mother is rejoicing in her community and celebrating memories of her only son, Jayden Kilmister, 15, who died in a tragic accident a year ago last Wednesday.
On Thursday, South Wairarapa farmer Adrian Wildman pleaded guilty to careless driving causing the death of the Wairarapa College pupil, who was blown from the back of a ute while helping shift furniture on the family farm.
Mrs Kilmister, who with husband Dion Kilmister farms 10,000 stock units, has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Doctors have told her she will be dead within months. ''But that's not a goal of mine and not something I intend to do,'' she said.
The couple pass quickly over her condition and the fact that three generations of their family all died within six months last year _ Jayden, 15, grandfather Jim, 73, and great-grandmother Kath, 97. ''We don't want people to feel sorry for us. Eight members of our family died in the past two years _ all but Jayden from cancer,'' Mrs Kilmister said.
''But we're alive. So is our love for the family, for Jayden. And our neighbours, the community of Bideford, our people, they're there for us every day.

These are the really important things in life.'' Jayden, known to his family as Boy, was a ''country kid through and through'' who was very trusting, had an overwhelming sympathy for injured animals, and was mad keen on motorcycles and diggers.
The couple, who also have an adult daughter, joined yesterday with about 70 of their friends and neighbours at the Bideford Hall playground to plant Jayden's favourite tree, an oak, and place an oak cross in his memory.
They are establishing an annual trail bike ride on their farm, which will fund the Jayden Kilmister Memorial Trust to primarily aid Bideford families in times of similar need, and organisations including the Westpac rescue helicopter and SPCA.
The couple are also founding the Jayden Kilmister Cricket Trophy for Wairarapa College junior players, which recognises another of their son's favourite pursuits.
''It was motorbikes he loved the most though,'' Mr Kilmister said. She said the annual trail-bike event would mean she, her family and their community ''can get out there every year and celebrate Jayden's life in a way he would love'' and, through the linked trust, help to repay some of the affection and care Bideford families have showered upon her household since Jayden's death. ''It's all about giving something back.''
Wildman was convicted and remanded at large for sentencing on August 30.